Sunday, September 13, 2009

She's beautiful, but we don't tell her.

Everywhere we go, people tell Brynn she's cute or pretty or beautiful. They're just being nice and we appreciate that, (and in fact, I always tell other people's children the same things), but we kind of wish people would quit telling her. We're afraid of her getting a big head. or perhaps putting too much importance on outward physical beauty.

We never tell her those things ourselves. And when I say that to my friends, they usually are somewhat alarmed by it - they don't agree.

It's not that we don't give her compliments. We tell her that she looks nice, or that she did a good job picking out her outfit or combing her hair. We especially compliment her when she's been kind to someone or has gotten her homework done or cleaned her room without being asked. We try to acknowledge her accomplishments and her goodness. But we definitely don't make a big fuss about how beautiful she is.

Our mantra is "It's better to be good than pretty".

Are we wrong?

The other day, one of her friends said something interesting to her. She said, "I'm prettier than you, " and Brynn came to me and was really bothered by that. I told her I was sorry that her friend hurt her feelings, but that not only was it not true, but that it wasn't important who is prettier.

I hope I'm getting my message across in the right way. I hope she understands the spirit of what I'm trying to teach her.

But she is beautiful, there's no doubt about that.

I'm sure thankful to have her for my daughter, she is a light in our lives. This parenting gig is tough.


Becky Earl said...

I agree and think it's great that you are teaching her that inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty....but darn it, she is BEAUTIFUL!!! Love that first shot!

(ps- thanks for the sweet comment on my blog! It made my day) :)

Alayna said...

So touching! This almost made me consider the idea of having a kid one day...then I smacked myself and came back to reality :-P. Regardless, all of your kids are beautiful and I think you are doing a wonderful job raising them. I miss you guys!